The most important thing I’ve learned is that you must not let anyone try to convince you that your mental illness isn’t valid. You are not alone.
5 days after my last baby was born, it was said out loud once again that he didn’t love me. His actions in the previous months had shown that but there it was out loud, unable to be ignored.
The honest truth is, I knew I was going to get the abortion. Maybe that’s what made it so hard for me. Did I ever give the baby a chance? Was it selfish of me?
I am what’s called a “relationship virgin,” a new-ish term that got picked up and made the rounds in the vernacular – it simply means that I’ve never had a real relationship. No boyfriends, ever.
It was the first time that I had realized that what happened wasn’t okay. It was the first time I said the word, rape.