Every new and full moon I’ll feature a topic I’m personally going through, conversations I’m having with the community, or things I’m seeing and reading online. Read along for some journal entries, wisdom, reads, and inspiration.
Today I tried to figure out the root of why I’ve been feeling “off” for the last couple of weeks. Sometimes the reason presents itself clear as day, and sometimes uncovering the source or the why can be incredibly challenging. The latter is where I’ve been for the last two weeks. Off. But not sure why.
“It’s almost impossible to process emotion when we can’t identify, name, or talk about our experiences,” I recently read in Brene Brown’s new book Dare To Lead. “When we can’t name and articulate what’s happening to us emotionally, we cannot move through it.”
I re-read those words today and they provided me with so much comfort. I’ve been unable to articulate how I’ve been feeling and that’s why I feel “stuck.” You can’t move through something when you don’t know what it is, I reassured myself.
I brought my journal to a coffee shop today and asked myself: what is making you feel stuck?
The answer I had been searching for presented itself so easily once I started writing.
“From now until the new year, there aren’t many white spaces left in my calendar. It’s making me feel overwhelmed, like I can’t breathe,” I wrote.
Between the holidays, travel, friend gatherings, birthdays, and fertility appointments, I’m feeling like there’s very little room for alone time, spontaneity, and creativity. If there’s one thing I’ve realized about myself these last few years, it’s that I hate a full calendar. It makes me feel like I’m wearing invisible chains and not in control of my own life.
Between the holidays, travel, friend gatherings, birthdays, and fertility appointments, I’m feeling like there’s very little room for alone time, spontaneity, and creativity.
As I continued journaling, I was surprised by how clear and easy it was to write out the reason behind my “stuckness.” It wasn’t as complicated as the mess I had created in my head. And the solution was just as easy: I needed to create space wherever I could. I’ve already agreed to many of the things on my calendar, but if I want to feel more freedom, I need to practice being more comfortable putting myself (and my well-being) above everyone and everything else.
I cancelled a holiday party I was going to host at my house. I canceled a few meetings. I axed a work event I was going to squeeze in. I rescheduled doctor appointments to all be on the same day, instead of spreading them throughout the month.
The solution for feeling un-stuck meant reevaluating what and who I was allowing to take over my life. Especially around the holidays, it’s easy to feel obligated to do all sorts of things. But today, I reminded myself that I do not owe anyone anything. Creating space for yourself is easy when you care for yourself first. Do whatever it is you need this holiday season to ensure that YOU are at the top of your Christmas list.
Do you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or anxious?
Is there an opportunity to reevaluate where (and on who) you are spending your energy?
How can you embrace and celebrate saying no?
How can you ensure your needs are at the top of your Christmas list?
Ellen Pompeo does not need an applause for this, but as a white woman, I did find that this clip gave me an even bigger understanding of how white women should stand up for people of color, specifically in white spaces. After a day of several photoshoots for Porter Magazine, actresses Ellen Pompeo, Gabrielle Union, Gina Rodriguez, and Emma Roberts were asked to discuss equality in the film industry. Half of the video is spent talking about pay equality and the other half is about racial equality. While conversing about the latter topic for several minutes, Ellen Pompeo called out the producer of the photoshoot, while cameras were rolling, about how the rest of the crew on the set was not diverse.
“I’d like the set I walk onto to represent the people I see out in the world.”
The way Rain Dove handled a woman who pepper sprayed her in a woman’s bathroom is awe-inspiring.
Pelicans showed up on the one year anniversary of my dad’s passing.
This video gave me a good LOL. Watch till the end.