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How I Tune In To My Divine Feminine

The Divine Feminine is finally getting its due.

If you’re not familiar with the concept, you will be. It’s a common term in spiritual circles, but it’s been bubbling up in pop culture: See Mac Miller’s last album,” the popularity of terms like goddess and yas queen, Beyoncé in general, and the current wave of #thefutureisfemale feminism.

So…what is it?

The Divine Feminine is the essence of our universal feminine nature at large.

Throughout our lives we explore many polarities: victor / victim; light / shadow; material / spiritual; and, of course feminine / masculine. The Divine Feminine exists as part of the Divine Masculine, and vice versa; they are contained within each other, interdependent and entwined. Yin and yang.

When the Divine Feminine is brought to light in us, it is best expressed as a force of nurturing, creativity, love, forgiveness, beauty, healing, harmony, and wholeness. YAS QUEEN.

We honor the Divine Feminine when we embody those qualities. We embody those qualities when we nurture our intuition, empathy, and wellness. And to be clear, when I say we, I mean everyone, not just those who identify as female.

Being in touch with our divine, feminine nature doesn’t mean living life in a state of rose-colored-glasses-Burning-Man euphoria. It means showing up to our complex world, consciously casting aside ego, and meeting daily challenges with wisdom, love, and compassion.


We get that everything exists on a spectrum. Yet, for simplicity’s sake, we often think in black and white.

We identify and label ourselves and others as yes this and not that. This doesn’t leave much space for ambiguity or anything non-binary. This takes the spectrum of experience and turns it into a coin toss.

Change begins in evolving our own thinking into a non-dualistic model, specifically one that values the shadow. Embracing the Divine Feminine means delving into our dark parts and embracing all of the scary shit that lies beneath us. Some of us may be familiar with our scary shit; some of us may be waylaid or incapacitated by it. The Divine Feminine comes in when we shine a light on our hidden, shadow selves and choose to love ourselves in light of what we find.

Wholeness is not one-sided. We are not yes this and not that. As we get in touch with all that has been suppressed—out of shame, protection, fear, doubt—we get in touch with our own divinity. As within, so without.

Embracing “all” is tough. Growing up, I resented being female. I hated my breasts because they got in the way. I hated my period; it was messy and inconvenient.

I saw women the way society reflected them back to me: weak, inferior, manipulative, untrustworthy, sexy (some), and disgusting (others). If a woman were exceptionally pretty she had to be dumb; if she were smart she was most likely ugly AF.

But If you had asked me if I thought these things about my own sex and gender I would have bitten your head off and called you crazy.

These thoughts were buried in the depths of my subconscious. I had to go deep into the abyss of my mind, deprogram my conditioned beliefs, and then reprogram myself to embrace ALL of me. Eventually I emerged, slightly more balanced, much less dualistic. This was my first encounter with Divine Feminine, a powerful force that is not interested in the face you present to the world, but in the blood-pumping heart that moves you into the shadows and back out again.

Honoring and connecting to the Divine Feminine is an act of worship, not only to oneself, but to all creation. The Divine Feminine is Mother Earth; she is whatever “God” is present in your own distinct understanding of the universe. Being in touch with your divine feminine aspects means establishing a sacred connection to life energy. We are all capable of giving birth to ideas, expressions, and dreams.


As with any intuitive practice, there is no wrong way. Feel into your interpretation of the Divine Feminine and excavate long-hidden corners of your psyche. Here are some ways to get started:

  • Practice compassion. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
  • Touch the earth. Hi, Mom!
  • Take a bath. Water is the element of the second chakra, home of our reproductive centers and our creativity. 
  • Tell those who don’t support you to fuck off (but, you know, compassionately).
  • Pay attention to the moon, regardless of whether or not you have a menstrual cycle. The moon goes dark, re-emerges, shines bright, and slowly fades away every month. We can all learn something from that cycle.
  • Keep a dream journal. If you want to know what your subconscious is saying to you, listen to it.
  • “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” Take a cue from Confucius. Seek beauty.
  • Create a sacred sanctuary in your home. Let it be beautiful (see above) and a place that comforts or inspires you.
  • Listen to your gut. The Divine Feminine thrives on intuition. The best way to hone it is to use it.
  • If you’re not meditating yet, try it. There’s an app for that.

However you go about it, take time to slow down and engage in conscious acts to bring in balance. The Divine Feminine is deep, multifaceted, and far from one-sided. Nurture the parts of her that live in you without shame.


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