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Constricted. Like I’ll never be able to “do it right”. Not “as good as” other people. Ashamed. Hopeless. I have used different coping strategies throughout my life in response to my feelings about myself and money, and the last few years, I’ve been working to detox from those, gently... to find my own way to a sustainable relationship with money, not just another system someone is selling. I’m realizing I’ve become paralyzed by not wanting to repeat past mistakes. And I now resist making money or invoicing for things because I fear my own choices. “Trauma” definitely feels like it applies!!!
Money makes me feel stressed and anxious because I often find that I measure my self worth with the amount of money in my account. When I am struggling with budgeting and saving, I beat myself up over it and often regret spending money because I feel I have so little to begin with.