MOMMY CULTURE SEEMS TO ONLY EMBRACE WINE

My children’s school recently held a fundraiser where large gift baskets were auctioned off. The contents of each were generous and varied widely ––from a home spa basket, to a surviving summer basket, to a book club basket. In addition to several books and gift cards, the book club basket included 4 bottles of wine. The wine lovers basket, not surprisingly, included several more bottles and a multitude of wine paraphernalia. 

My children’s school is in southern California, and this area of the blue state is often stereotyped as a laid back, liberal surf town. The main street downtown is lined with bars and several microbreweries. Signs out front advertise brunch specials with bottomless mimosas and happy hours with $5 margaritas. Alcohol is our societal go-to when we’re celebrating, commiserating, or simply bored. And why not? It’s completely legal. 

And in CA, so is marijuana. But there is no way my kids’ school would auction a “weed lovers” basket, let alone a conspicuously placed joint in a book club basket. Even our most left-leaning cities have yet to embrace the “coffee shop” culture of the Netherlands. Despite more and more states moving towards legalization, weed stigma persists. 

Why are we not yet ready to embrace the fact that marijuana –– like a glass of Merlot –– could be responsibly enjoyed by moms looking to unwind?

Kathleen Siddell

As of January 2020, there are only 8 states where marijuana is fully illegal, and the cannabis industry is poised to continue growing. According to New Frontier Data, between 2018 and 2019, the cannabis industry increased by 32% from $10.3 billion to $13.6 billion. The same study predicts that number to jump to $30 billion by 2025. 

Society seems to be moving past the era of caring about politicians arguing that because they didn’t inhale, it didn’t count (as Bill Clinton famously said in 1992). In his book, Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance, Barack Obama wrote that marijuana helped him deal with painful emotions surrounding his relationship with his father. In a 2016 interview with Katie Couric, presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders, a leading proponent of federal legalization said, “I smoked marijuana twice –– didn’t quite work for me.” 

Still, while it seems attitudes towards marijuana are changing on a macro-scale, my own marijuana use still feels like something to be hidden and certainly not discussed with the other PTA moms. 

And yet, in nearly every breezy conversation I have with other moms –– in the pick up line at school, in the bleachers at baseball games, at book club –– alcohol (particularly wine) is a regular punchline in our shared observations of our busy lives. I might easily be gifted a wine glass etched with “mom juice,” a t-shirt with “They whine, I wine,” or a wine bottle with a customized label like, “The First Meltdown.”

Just thinking about this article out in the world for my children, their friends, and their friends’ parents to read is nerve wracking. What if I’m labeled the “stoner mom”? 

Kathleen Siddell

Why is cannabis still somewhat taboo, especially among mothers? Is it just that the legalization of cannabis is new and it takes time for attitudes to adjust? Or is there something inherently more nefarious about weed? 

Why are we not yet ready to embrace the fact that marijuana –– like a glass of Merlot –– could be responsibly enjoyed by moms looking to unwind? 

Perhaps it’s because cannabis is arguably more complicated than alcohol. I know exactly how I’ll feel after a glass of wine, regardless of variety. I can’t say the same for marijuana (though maybe more frequent users can). According to the medical experts at Healthline, cannabis can be a depressant but not always. It can affect each individual differently, as well as have different effects with each use (depending on the strain, how it’s ingested, and the potency of the strand).

A quick Google search for “alcohol vs. weed” yields millions of articles; the overwhelming majority deem alcohol more harmful to your overall health. In an article in The Independent titled, “We took a scientific look at whether weed or alcohol is worse for you –– and there appears to be a winner,” author Erin Brodwin found that with marijuana, you’re much less likely to overdose, become addicted, become more violent, or gain weight (despite the well known “munchies” side effect). Although, as Brodwin points out, there are not nearly as many studies on the effect of cannabis as there are of alcohol. Other articles, like this one, this one and this one agree with most of Brodwin’s findings and the limitations of such comparisons. In another decade, as studies continue, the results may shift, but for now, the message is clear: Toking up is no longer just for teenagers looking to rebel. 

Maybe moms could start talking about (and possibly ingesting) weed like we share bottles of wine at book clubs. Maybe talking about weed can finally help us move past the dangerous “mama needs wine” rhetoric.

Kathleen Siddell

While I smoke, I don’t discuss my marijuana use with anyone besides my husband (until now). I haven’t shared with friends a particularly great strand I bought in the same way I’d talk about a good bottle of wine. Although I do regularly drink wine or beer at dinner, I would never openly smoke in front of my children. I’d never show up to a backyard barbecue with weed like I would a six pack of beer. It feels irresponsible and taboo — but it shouldn’t, right? 

Just thinking about this article out in the world for my children, their friends, and their friends’ parents to read is nerve wracking. What if I’m labeled the “stoner mom”? 

But maybe the only way to reduce the stigma is to talk openly about marijuana –– to admit that I use it responsibly and occasionally. Maybe moms could start talking about (and possibly ingesting) weed like we share bottles of wine at book clubs. Maybe talking about weed can finally help us move past the dangerous “mama needs wine” rhetoric. Maybe an honest and open conversation can shine a light on our use of substances as healthy aids versus unhealthy escapes. Maybe passing a joint will become as normal as refilling a glass.